Thursday, March 14, 2013

Eddie Murphy: Party All the Time

Eddie Murphy, "Party All the Time" video

In an effort to keep Music Video Week close to our normal field of operations, we decided to open the 80's Vault of Actors-Turned-Singers, and the result is the most effective way to blow the good graces of American moviegoers in under five minutes.
  • 0:06: Already six seconds into the 80's Rock-R&B fusion background track, we are reminded that, yes, THAT Eddie Murphy. = + 5pts (At this point, he's just made Beverly Hills Cop, so forgiveness is high).
  • 0:14: 80's-appropriate montage, but instead of weight training or dance-practicing, assuring us that this is a real recording studio and not a dream. = +3pts
  • 0:18: Rick James' blonde willow-tree mane. = +10pts
  • 0:27: Signature Eddie Murphy laugh! (Hyeh-hyeh) = + 7pts
  • 0:39: “Okay, put your phones on, man.” -Rick James, in industry speak. = -8pts
  • 0:59: Gratuitous Clap Count (GCC) is at 1. = -1pt
  • 1:06: GCC (Rick James Edition) is at 2. = -2pts
  • 1:16: Excited background singers, not being recorded, but rather “partying at this time.” = -10pts
  • 1:24: Eddie's really feeling it now! = -11pts
  • 1:31: Which hair metal band fired Shirtless Blazer Guy? Enuff Z'Nuff?  = +12pts (Because clearly he's in it for the drugs.)
  • 1:36: Rick James, Air Drum Soloist. = -22pts
  • 1:37: How many people are hanging out just to watch Eddie Murphy sing? GCC is at 3. = +1 (-3pts If it were Eddie or Rick, +1pt for that guy being able to show this video to his grandkids.)
  • 1:43: Eddie's REEEEALLLY feeling it, now. GCC is at 4.= -4pts
  • 1:50: At this point, I have forgotten Trading Places. GCC is at 5 (We’re serious. Because they are very serious). = -5pts
  • 1:57: We think those claps were the first thing they came up with when they wrote this song. By “they,” we mean Eddie Murphy and Rick “Cocaine's a helluva drug” James. GCC is at 6. = -6pts
  • 2:04: At least the band is getting screen time pretending to be playing live. And Eddie's dance moves, um…exist? GCC is at 7.  = -7pts
  • 2:23: I'm not sure if she's starstruck or deaf, but this woman is very impressed. GCC is at 10. = -10pts
  • 2:27: What's wrong with those two dudes ? Are they on ecstasy? That’s too much excitement for our comfort .  = -5pts (for being creeped out.)
  • 2:39: There's the old WASP in charge of making sure someone pushes dials while the drugs are happening. = +3pts 
  • 2:51: Eddie Murphy brings Rick James to climax through the power of funk. = -40pts
  • 3:19: Fueled by drugs and raw sexual energy, Rick James will now abandon producing to strap on a bass that is (probably) not plugged in and join Eddie for some face time. GCC is at 12. = -12pts
  • 3:35: Rick James improving lines to add emphasis. He forgets, “She likes to come over to my place and do drugs until sex.” = +7pts
  • 3:58: “Eddie, great job! This is sure to be a classic! Now let's wrap this up and go for a gallup on the white pony until all your funny is gone!” = unscoreable, because it's unforgivable .
  • 4:03: Double “OK” to the camera, which Rick James morphs into the “sign of the devil.” = -66pts
Total Score: -161pts
Available on: YouTube, 1980s MTV (extinct)

48 Hrs. Trading Places. Beverly Hills Cop. Three solid hits made Eddie Murphy a star (added to his stand-up classic Delirious). This chapter could have, maybe should have, ruined him. Thankfully, as serious as he seems at times here, there seems to still be a lot of fun (read: cocaine) being had by all parties, and that is what she wants to do. All the time. Eddie Murphy is a shell of the funnyman he was in the ‘80s, but if you want to laugh (and Coming to America is not readily available), this video is a doozy. Especially with a scorecard.

Score Technician: Matt “That Boy's Good!” Fleming

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