Thursday, May 22, 2014

Game of Thrones Season 4, Episode 7

After last weeks Emmy reel for Peter Dinklage, and with the traditional Memorial Day week off, Benioff and Weiss set the table for the final three episodes of the season.

  • Fell in Love with a Whore, the first single off the inevitable White Stripes reunion album. = +2pts
  • Yoga with The Mountain. = +8pts (He's really perfected the downward cleave position.)
  • Arya Stark kindly gives "nothing" to a dying man. = +3pts
  • Bonus point alert! = +4pts (1pt for every scene featuring a character wiping blood off their sword onto the person they just killed.)
  • Tyrion and Bronn break-up. = -5pts
  • Calisi's first casting couch! = +3pts (We're so proud of her! Still, it's a slippery slope from here on out.)
  • Humor might not be a strong suit of Selyse Baratheon, but she's got awkward naked bathtub conversations with husband's mistress/witch totally locked down. = +4pts
  • Kidney Pie. = -2pts (Just. No.)
  • Prince Oberyn's pep talk! Nothing tops off a hard day quite like hearing from a complete stranger about that time he visited you when you were a baby and he watched as your sister tried to pinch off your little baby penis. And to think all some people need is a nice glass of wine! = +1pt
  • Hello, my name is Prince Oberyn, brother of Doran Martell, son of Lewyn Martell. You killed and raped my sister. Prepare to die. = +25pts
  • Is there a better first move than talking about how much you love a woman's dead mother right before you lean in for your first kiss? We doubt it! = -5pts
  • Little finger plays skeeball with Aunt Lysa. = +10pts (To be fair, it's really hard to hit that 100pt pocket from three hundred feet.)
Episode Score: +48pts
Season Score: +249pts

As table setting go, this episode seems to be foreshadowing a pretty delicious meal. You'll have to forgive us, we could drone on about this episode for hours, but we've got to spend the next two weeks fantasizing exactly how awesome it's going to be to watch Prince Oberyn do yoga with The Mountain.

Score Technician: Sean McConnell

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