Game of Thrones Season 5, Episode 7

Score Technician: Sean McConnell

After last week's inevitable nightmare, Game of Thrones tried its best to hit the throttle on getting as far away from Ramsey Snow as possible. Unfortunately, Westeros being what it is, it was only a matter of time before the narrative circled back on itself and collided head-on with...more rape stuff. Is there a bright spot on the horizon? That depends on your perspective. Luckily, the nanobots remain forever impartial. Time to get our science on...

• Giving your best bud your super secret zombie killing weapon before he embarks on a suicide mission in the land of the bathless men. = +15pts
• Letting an old blind man pet your baby before he dies. = +10pts
• Asking Theon to do anything other than kill himself. = -3pts
• Outing your former ward-sister to her unbelievably psychotic and rapey bastard husband. =  -10pts
• Reminding a bastard that he'll always be a fucking bastard. = +4pts
• Trying to convince your lover to sacrifice his daughter for essentially what amounts to a warm breeze. = -3pts
• Not murdering your daughter for something as stupid as a warm breeze. = +6pts
• Pulling the ol' beat my face til you get tired trick. = +3pts (If it was good enough for Ali, it's good enough for Sam, the Ali of old libraries.)
• Bringing a Dire Wolf to a rape fight. = +10pts
• Breaking your stupid meaningless boys club vow in exchange for Hot Sex on a Platter. = +10pts
• Standing by and doing nothing but laugh as a dwarf beats the shit out of his slave captor with his own chains. = +6pts
• Crying in Westeros. = -2pts
• Being a king and crying in Westeros. = -4pts
• Making prison sexy. = +5pts (Just when we think we're out, Westeros. You pull us back in...)
• Telling the naked woman who poisoned you that she is the most beautiful woman you've ever seen just so she'll give you the antidote to the poison she infected you with. = +4pts (That's just good business sense, people.)
• Being surprised when the religious fanatics that you've empowered turn on you. = +5pts (Because the nanobots are starved for ironic justice.)
• Referring to your dwarven companion as a "gift." = -3pts
• Tyrion meeting Daenerys. = +15pts

Episode Score = +64pts
Season Score = +53pts

This episode seemed to function as a well-intentioned olive branch for anyone too upset by the last few weeks. Many of the more likable characters on the show had small and meaningful heroic moments, while the least likable all got taken down a peg or two. Now that two of the most popular figures in the show have met, we can cross our fingers and imagine that retributions and reckonings are just beyond the horizon.

Game of Thrones Season 5, Episode 3-6

Score Technician: Sean McConnell and TJ Geise

The nanobots have recovered from their Ultron induced revolt and they're ready to get back to HBO's Game of Thrones. What's been going on Westeros you ask? Sunshine and roses we imagine.

Episode 3

• Marrying above your weight class. = +3pts
• Not for nothing ladies, but King Tomnin, just so you know, is an "ery day, all day" kind of guy. = +16pts
• Complementing your mother-in-law on how much your husband/her son likes to fuck. = -8pts
• Agreeing to marry the sadistic bastard of the man who murdered your mother and brother, and who also happens to be so much worse than that. We couldn't come up with a better sitcom if we'd murdered an orphanage full of abandoned children and thrown some cats into a burlap sack and tossed it into a river. I mean, at this point, is the laugh track even necessary? = -10pts
• Bree gives regales Pod with your standard GoT backstory. It's a familiar story that can be charted on a graph that looks something like this:

                                                                                                    = -3pts

• Roose Bolton introduces Sansa to his son, Samwise Gamgee. = +5pts (Because who doesn't love a Sam.)
• Gingers have it great in Westeros. Latrine duty? Might as well call it live happily ever after duty! = +4pts
• Taking the pope on a shame walk. = +5pts

Episode Score: +7pts

Episode 4 

• Throwing coins on the body of the guy whose boat you stole and whose face you punched out. = +2pts
• Bronn being unable to hide his incredulousness at hearing that Jaime’s on a quest to return his “niece.” = +5pts
• Sending the jolliest member of the Small Council to his doom so you can settle the national debt. = -8pts
• Giving weapons and power to a group of religious fanatics knowing that their purification crusade would send your daughter-in-law’s gay brother to prison. = -15pts
• Tommen couldn’t make an order even if he was next in line at whatever is the Westerosi equivalent of Arby’s. = -2pts
• Sending your fire witch to rekindle Jon Snow’s lust for lily-white ginger flesh. = -4pts
• Melisandre’s smug little grin after saying, “You know nothing, Jon Snow.” = -3pts
• Stannis giving a fuck about his daughter’s feelings. = +6pts
• Getting a not-so-avuncular kiss from your uncle in the darkened basement of your childhood home. = -7pts
• Using your golden hand as a means of getting out of rowing a boat. = +2pts
• Using your golden hand as a means of getting out of being decapitated. = +4pts
• Using your golden hand as a means of getting out of burying a bunch of dead guys. = +2pts
• Oberyn’s daughters fill the femme fatale trope with such gusto that one of them even has a bullwhip. We won’t hold that against them, though. = +6pts
• Answering a “yes” or “no” question by throwing a spear through a guy’s head. = +5pts
• Forcing your captor to remove your gag by humming as obnoxiously as possible. = +7pts
• Disguising exposition as Tyrion’s Sherlock-esque deduction abilities. = +4pts
• Being able to afford outfitting your goon squad with intricate golden masks. = +3pts (Gotta look good when you’re trying to bring down the government!)
• The emotional rollercoaster ride leading up to the most likeable characters in Daenerys’ inner circle bleeding out amidst a pile of bodies. = +10pts for the fight, -20 pts for the outcome. Total = -10pts

Episode Score = -4pts

After the first three episodes set the direction for the season, leave it to the fourth episode to remind us that Game of Thrones loves nothing more than to kill a character just when their familiarity feels like a warm blanket. There will be no snuggling in warm blankets in George R. R. Martin’s winter!

It's all upside from here on out!

Episode 5

Right?! Upside...

• Feeding the fat one to your pet dragons. = +5pts
• Watching two dragons share a hot plate of BBQ. = +5pts
• Letting an old man change your bedpan when you have a perfectly good squire capable of doing so. = -2pts
• Making your own clothes. = +1pt
• Outing your psychopathic lover to his soon to be bride. = +4pts (Normally, any kind of outing is a bad thing. But in this case the nanobots are calculating a clear exception.)
• Making your stinky manservant wear a dress while serving wine during a family dinner. = -3pts
• Telling your son that he was a rape baby. = -10pts
• Proposing to your prisoner. = -2pts
• The Stone Men of Valriya, because that's what Westeros needs at this point, more local color. = +3pts

Episode Score: +3pts

Upside... Hmmm, maybe next episode...

Episode 6

Alas, what joy does this episode hold?

• What better way to showcase Arya’s corpse-washing skills than with a montage? Girl, we want a montage! = +2pts
• Just when you think you’re bonding with your assassin roomie over the time she killed her stepmom – psych! = +3pts
• Arya: “...wot?” = +2pts
• Jaqen confirms with his beatin’ stick what we knew all last season: Arya loved The Hound as much as he loved her. RIP, The Adventures of Lone Hound and Arya. = -5pts
• That “Oopsy-daisies!” moment after you accidentally reveal to your kidnapper that his dad is dead. = +4pts
• Tricking a little girl into drinking poison does sound like a test along the road to becoming an assassin, but that doesn’t mean we have to like it. = -4pts
• Arya can’t run away out of the Hall of Heads. = +5pts
• “The dwarf lives until we find a cock merchant.” = +15pts
• Some people are double-crossers. Others dare to triple cross. Littlefinger? The motherfucker is a straight up duodecuple-crosser. = -6pts
• The anticipation of seeing the big bald guy chop someone up with his big bald guy axe. = +4pts
• Jaime and Bronn looking like they’re recreating their favorite scenes from Ishtar. = -4pts
• The split-second when Biggy Baldy almost cut someone in half… = +5pts
• ...but that someone was Jaime Lannister. = -5pts
• The smile on Bronn’s face after getting one last jibe in before being detained. = +6pts (We’ll be sad when he’s inevitably chopped in half or gutted or drowned or whatever.)
• If Littlefinger is a duodecuple-crosser, then Cersei has to be a centuple-crosser. = -8pts
• Tommen’s doofy expression when they haul his wife off to the clink. = +2pts
• A snowy, nighttime wedding would almost be serene if it wasn’t between Sansa and Ramsey. = +2pts
• Reek referring to himself as Theon Greyjoy. = +3pts (There’s hope for him yet!)
• We’re just going to leave this here to sum the episode’s ending. = -100pts 

Episode Score = -79pts
Season Score = -21pts

For those of you who visit Progressive Cinema Scorecard’s website exclusively for your Game of Thrones recaps, you may not be aware that the final scene has caused quite a stir (though you can probably understand why). For those of you who are reading this after the shock has worn off, the following questions are peppering every article about this scene:

• In a culture that triggers at the R-word, did we really need to see the ever-victimized Sansa forcibly lose her virginity in front of her on-again, off-again brother?
• Did we really need another lesson in just how bootlicked Theon is to Ramsay?
• Was it necessary to further demonstrate that Ramsay, a man who takes pleasure in flaying people alive, murdering the boring, and smiling creepily, is so psychopathic that he force himself upon his bride?

The answer to these questions is no, probably not. We all knew that Ramsay would do something terrible the moment he got Sansa alone, but there was that glimmer of hope that Theon might stop it from happening. He didn’t, and no shower can wash off the squick.

This isn’t the first time that both Game of Thrones and A Song of Ice and Fire, or pop culture in general, have dealt with rape. But, (spoiler alert), Sansa isn’t raped in the books – the decision came solely from the showrunners. In a time where some of the Western Civilization’s elected officials haven’t quite made up their minds about whether not rape is 100% bad, watching Sansa go from a woman hardened by her experience to a woman dehumanized by her groom’s sadism seems in such poor taste that even the unfeeling nanobots know that this wasn’t necessary to the plot.

Telling the story of a rape victim is one thing, but rape should neither spice up a mostly (well, until this season) dull character like Sansa, or make all the sweeter Ramsay’s inevitable suffering at the hands of Sansa herself, Theon, Brienne, Littlefinger, Stannis, Jon Snow, the elderly chambermaid, Roose Bolton, Hodor, or whoever it is that guts the bastard.

Let’s get it straight, HBO. Rape is for the real world to deal with; Game of Thrones is for dragons and swordplay and laughing at cock jokes.

Saturday Night Live, Season 2

Season two of the iconic Saturday Night Live is a bit sturdier and more streamlined than it’s premier season. Chevy Chase bails midseason but the trade off is a spry, young, Bill Murray a few episodes later.

This is the season where Buck Henry gets cut in the head by Belushi’s samurai sword - a true testament to the erratic nature of the live format. We also get the debut of the Coneheads, some direly dramatic sketches, and some really powerful musical guests. 

BEST HOST:  Steve Martin
WORST HOST: Dick Cavett

BEST MUSICAL GUEST:  Frank Zappa
WORST MUSICAL GUEST: Leo Sayer

• Dan Akroyd as Carter and Nixon. = +5pts
• Jane Curtain taking over Weekend Update. = +8pts
• Emily Litella’s rivalry with Jane Curtain on Weekend Update. = +8pts (Seriously, who is Emily Litella?)
• More Patty Hearst jokes. = +2pts
• Eric Idle’s “Here Comes the Sun” running gag. [E03] = +8pts
• The drag sketch turning meta. [E03] = +5pts
• The strong bromance between Eric Idle and Dan Akroyd. [E03] [E20] = +10pts
• Steve Martin at his strongest [E05] = +15pts
• The twelve minute beatnick sketch where all the art is horrible and awkward. [E05] = +15pts
• Ted Baxter killing Mary Richards in a very dark Mary Tyler Moore Show parody. [E05] = +15pts
• Chevy Chase’s last episode.  [E06] = -10pts
• Belushi as Samurai Futaba cutting Buck Henry’s head accidentally in the Samurai Stockbroker sketch. [E06] = +30pts
• The cast wearing bandages on their heads in solidarity with Buck Henry for the bandage he was forced to wear due to the samurai cut. [E06] = +15pts
• The Band performing four songs amidst their farewell tour. [E06] = +15pts
• Elliot Gould canceling his appearance and Dick Cavett filling in.  [E07] = -15pts
• George Harrison and Paul Simon performing together. [E08] = +15pts
• George Harrison’s corny music videos making us feel weird. [E08] = +8pts
• The sound on George Harrison’s corny music videos being mixed much lower than the rest of the episode. [E08] = -3pts
• Refreshing, androgynous, young Jodie Foster. [E09] = +15pts
• Brian Wilson standing unassumingly in the background as a security guard, only to reveal himself by speaking a line at the end of the skit. [E09] = +8pts
• Frank Zappa’s dramatic performance of  “I’m the Slime” with Don Pardo. [E10] = +10pts
• Dan Akroyd debuting as Irwin Mainway. [E10] = +8pts
• In the middle of the “Extreme Stupidity League” sketch, Candice Bergan mixing up the name of Gilda Radner’s character with her own and running the “Extreme Stupidity League” sketch off the rails. [E10] = +5pts
• Bill Murray’s first episode. [E11] = +15pts
• Ralph Nader and a bunch of blow up dolls. [E11] = +10
• First Coneheads Sketch. [E11] = +8pts
• Chuck Berry live. [E12] = +8pts
• Fran Tarkenton making a gay joke at the expense of Don Meredith. [E13] = -8pts
• The Kinks performing a live medley. [E14] = +8pts
• A very dramatic sketch between Belushi and Sissy Spacek. [E15] = +8pts
• Bill Murray excusing himself for not being funny on the show. [E16] = +5pts
• I Love Lucy parody where Lucy works on a nuclear warhead assembly line. [E16] = +8pts
• Official name changes from Saturday Night to Saturday Night Live. [E17] = +8pts
• Ending the show on a tragic downer of a sketch where Jack Burns plays an alcoholic writer seeking work. [E17] = -5pts
• An entire episode that serves as a biting conversation on race, hosted by Senator Julian Bond.  [E18] = +20pts
• A very serious, very depressing sketch about supposedly progressive, middle class white people and the shallowness of their convictions. This is deep. [E18] = +15pts
• Dan Akroyd uses the end of the show to plead with viewers to sell him tanks for a Harley-Davidson motorcycle. [E19] = +3pts
• During the closing, John Belushi sincerely telling Elliot Gould that he is the best host that the show has ever had. [E19] = -1pt
• A skit about guns on an airplane. [E20] = +3pts
• The opening show announcement and credits only playing on a television in the background of a scene - not directly into the feed. [E21] = +5pts
• A very non-traditional, very sexy, very powerful opening with all the females in the cast,  along with Shelley Duvall, as the Video Vixens. [E21] = +10pts
• The Video Vixens run just slightly too long…just slightly. [E21] = -2pts
• Bill Murray, Gilda Radner and Buck Henry in the shower. [E22] = +8pts
• Coneheads driving around in a convertible, receiving reactions.  [E22] = +8pts

Total Score = +326pts
Available in full on DVD and the torrent sites, also in bits and pieces all over the internet.

Saturday Night Live Season 2 is actually better than season 1, when it comes to the quality of the content.  However, it scores lower on the technicality that there was simply less ground to break. The show had become a hot property and the excitement of getting it off the ground was not quite as present. Year two was more streamlined, with a larger budget and a crew that now had the routine down. Bill Murray hadn't quite yet found his sea legs, but come on…he's Bill Murray.

Despite the new aesthetic sheen, there were very few things that warranted a negative score here and this is no less a fixture of classic television than was the preceding season. Ever anomalous…ever evolving…another great year for the Not Ready for Primetime Players. What else can be said?

Score Technician:  Arrison Kirby

Airforce One

Score Technician: TJ Geise

From the director of The Neverending Story comes Air Force One, a film where US President Harrison Ford has to kick a lot of bad guy ass to save his family from Kazahk terrorists lead by Gary Oldman. Even though it’s obvious that Harrison Ford will win out in the end, we let the nanobots dissect this anyway. Science is bigger than any one movie about ass-kicking presidents!

• Parachuting snipers kill a bunch of guys and haul Jürgen Prochnow out of his bed in his jammy-jams. = +4pts 
• Harrison Ford: America’s gloomiest president since Richard Nixon. = -3pts 
• Four years before 9/11, President Ford says to hell with diplomacy and declares war on terror. ‘MURRICA! = +8pts 
• No Ma’am alumni Bob Rooney scoffs at the arrival of Gary Oldman and his “press” team. Did he say, “There goes the neighborhood” because they’re Russian or reporters. Both? = +2pts (either way) 
• To show you schlubs that he’s just like you, the president naps in front of a football game, tickles his daughter, and pretends to listen his wife. = +5pts 
• Jeez, Dad, being twelve is totally old enough to gawk at the dispossessed in a Russian refugee camp. Come on! = -6pts 
• Wrapping the presidential daughter in the presidential blanket on the presidential couch after she fell asleep in front of the presidential TV is so presidentially precious that we could just presidentially puke. = +3pts 
• Having the courtesy to lull your secret service brethren into a false sense of security with field reports before blowing their brains out. = +2pts 
• There’s smoke wafting throughout the plane and all of the Russians ran for the assault rifles and kevlar vests, yet not one of the presidential aids has so much as a sidearm drawn. So much for the war on terror. = -6pts 
• Ramstein Air Force Base is one “M” away from being Neue Deutsche Härte. = -1pt 
• “How in the hell did this happen?” asks Vice President Glenn Close. We’re pretty sure it happened when someone let a bunch of angry-looking Russians onboard. = -10pts 
• Not shooting the black pilot first. = +4pts 
• The dopey looks on the faces of the airmen when Air Force One barely misses crashing into another jet. = +5pts 
• Not subtitling Gary Oldman angrily yelling gibberish. = +2pts 
• A room full of trained military personnel and not one person tried to stop Gary Oldman from putting a gun to the first lady’s head. = -4pts 
• President Ford escapes through his escape hatch and skulks around like a first-time Metal Gear Solid player. = -5pts 
• When the chiefs of staff think the president is dead, General Mustache reminds everyone that President Ford was the badassiest commando ever to fly a chopper in ‘Nam. = +6pts 
• After an inspiring football break, the President tackles a bad guy and then bashes him upside the head with a stool. = +4pts 
• This hijacking was brought to you by Budweiser: the president of beer and Bounty: the chief of staff at soaking up spills. = -3pts 
• Gary Oldman laments the death of his minion by threatening to kill his other minion. = -2pts 
• The national security advisor came off a little too smug and strong with his desire to talk to the vice president. Gary Oldman made sure he’ll be talking to the vice president… of hell! = +4pts 
• Harrison Ford frantically reading the user’s manual for a cellular phone. = +7pts 
• Manipulating Air Force One’s countermeasure system as a means of gaining the leverage to beat the tar out of the guy holding a gun to your head. = +10pts 
• Both Harrison Ford and Glenn Close let it slip that their favorite childrens’ book is If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. = +3pts 
• Because there’s no manual for how to sabotage Air Force One’s fuel system, President Ford calls tech support and, like most people who call tech support, is surly with the operator. = -8pts 
• President Ford saves all the hostages because ‘MURRICA! = +7pts 
• Threatening someone with a promotion to Postmaster General. = -3pts 
• ‘90s tech alert: People getting excited to see a fax go through. = +4pts 
• The Vice President and the Secretary of Defense know so little about the chain of command during the presidential absence that they get the Attorney General to come in and talk about the constitution. Talk about a one-way flight to Yawnsville - we wanna see Harrison Ford punch out more bad guys! = -2pts 
• The Vice President asks for America to pray for the president’s safety. +3pts in 1997, -7pts in 2015. Total score = -4pts 
• William H. Macy quietly gives instructions on how to operate a parachute in a room full of panicked presidential staffers. = -3pts 
• Senseless airplane explosion! = +5pts 
• Gary Oldman lives the anti-American terrorist’s dream by beating the hell out of the president, spitting in his face, putting a gun to his daughter’s head, and making him shed manly, presidential tears. = +3pts to the terrorists, -10pts to America. Total points = -7pts 
• Glenn Close refuses to go through with Dean Stockwell’s plan to overthrow the president with some document signing bullcrap. Blah blah blah – this is less time focused on Harrison Ford firing a machine gun at Russians. = -5pts 
• President Ford is sick and tired of these monkey-fighting Russians on this Monday-through-Friday plane. = +10pts 
• Freeing the bad guy general from prison just so that you can shoot him as he’s inches away from freedom. Bolshoi pobyeda! = +5pts 
• Flying your jet into the path of a missile to save the president. ‘MURRICA! = +3pts 
• Only room for one more person to skyjump to safety? Sounds like it’s time for the sleeper agent to start shooting everyone. Rest in peace, William H. Macy. = -3pts 
• Opting to use dated CGI effects that barely resemble a PS1 cut scene for the Air Force One crash instead of an arguably cheaper and more realistic looking prop. = -10pts 
• You know the good guys won when one of them gives another a double thumbs up. = +3pts 
• Not setting up a cliffhanger ending for the inevitable sequel: Air Force Two. = +4pts

Total Score = +25pts

Availability: Crackle, Harrison Ford’s resume, Bill Clinton’s VCR

Like most blockbuster summer spectaculars in the ‘90s, Air Force One was a blockheaded romp where good conquers evil in the face-punchiest of ways.

Unlike most blockbuster summer spectaculars in the ‘90s, the protagonist was the president of the USA. While that sounds badass in theory, in practice most of the tension was drained way from the action. No matter how beaten down or pushed to the edge of reason he became, there was no way that the film could ever allow him to be defeated. Not only that, but any efforts they put toward making Gary Oldman more than a one-sided villain were undermined by his ruthlessness.

Though corny and sometimes boring, Air Force One did have some decent one-liners (“Get off my plane!”) and action scenes. If anything, it showed that the idea of the president as an action hero is better when played for cheesiness rather than super seriousness. It also showed that terror will never conquer ‘MURRICA!

Daredevil Season 1, Episodes 8-10

comicvine.com

Score Technician: Alex Pearlstein

Episodes 5-7 kept the action going, as Matt continued to punch his way towards truth and justice, Kingpin Fisk manipulated damage control mode to consolidate his power in the underworld, and Foggy and Karen flailed around in the crossfire. How will episodes 8-10 shape up? Will the Nelson and Murdock team pin anything on Fisk? Will Karen and Foggy make with the smoochy smoochy? Will Fisk rip off anyone else’s body parts? And most importantly, will Senora Cardenas finally reveal her secret identity as Lady Bullseye? We can only watch with bated breath and hope.

Episode 8:

• Wilson Fisk, proud owner of “Stucco Wall,” shittiest painting ever. = -3pts 
• Fisk pays a child to stand in his walk-in closet, wear bloody clothes, and mirror his movements. = +12 pts 
• Yes, Murdock, you’ll fight Union Allied using the legal process. That’ll happen. = -2pts 
• D’onofrio has trouble controlling the volume and rhythm of his delivery. “YES, it’s PART of MY evil plan. I – wait, CUT! CUT. No, I’m not ACTING, I’m PASSING a KIDNEY stone!” = -3pts 
• Matt’s e-braille reader is pretty cool. Available on Braille Skymall? = +5pts 
• Yes, Bill Fisk, Sr., please? This is the Father of the Year Coffee Mug Company. We’d like our mug back. = +7pts 
• We’d like to convince our neighborhood diner to start serving a dish we call Fisk’s Traditional Post-Nightmare Omelet. = +2pts 
• Fisk: “AHA, Wesley, you’ve spent your CAREER translating for no reason. YOU may leave us.” = +6pts 
• Fisk (flipping over table): “THANK YOU FOR THE MEETING, IT WENT very well.” = +3pts 
• Fisk’s Mom, ready with plastic and duct tape, seems to have planned for this moment suspiciously well. = +7pts 
• Ben to Matt on substantiating his allegations against Fisk: “So all you’ve got is what you’ve beaten out of people?” = +22pts 
• We believe Vanessa loves Fisk because…because… = -5pts 
• No one has ever heard of Fisk, and suddenly the city is like, “OH, WILSON Fisk. WE love Wilson FISK!” = -3pts 
• Matt not getting beaten up for a whole episode. = +17pts

Episode 9:

• Matt makes up for not getting beaten up last episode by getting really beaten up this episode. = +13pts 
• Asking a priest to make you a latte, but not drinking it. = -5pts 
• No one at any of the press conferences has asked Fisk who he is and what he does for a living. = -4pts 
• We’re glad that at least Karen is keeping faith in the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. = +2pts 
• Go, Senora Cardenas! Take on Wilson Fisk and his vast underworld connections! We’ve got your back. = -3pts 
• Venessa, even a blind man is refusing to buy your paintings of angry walls. = +7pts 
• Ya see, when poor neighborhood tenements is bought out by ritzy condos, that’s what we in the sociological lines of employment call a Fiskification. = +8pts 
• Way to discourage homicide, Priest! Listen to the priest, Matt. = +2pts 
• Nelson and Murdock have a better stocked pantry than most businesses where we’ve worked. = -5 pts 
• Foggy and Karen, getting drunk in a bar, forget to take part in this episode. = -2pts 
• Oh, Nobu, why did you choose to wear the highly flammable, tissue paper Ninja suit today? = +15pts 
• And Fisk is super strong because he’s…large? Bald? What are we missing here? = -3pts 
• Jumping into the Hudson with open wounds. = -1pt 
• Calling 911 when you see a man lying half-dead on the ground. = +17pts 
• Disconnecting 911 after you realize it’s your friend. = - 20pts

Episode 10:

• Foggy’s reaction to Matt’s explanation of how he got beaten up: “A Ninja.” = +12pts 
• Matt and Foggy backstory, college, lawyers, something, something…we tuned out here. = -2pts 
• Gaollegories: stereotypical nuggets of wisdom dispensed by Gao. = -13pts 
• Ben’s wife gives a touching pep talk. = +7pts 
• Matt’s ability to hear individual heartbeats from across a room is still pretty cool. = +9pts 
• Karen, the only employee of Nelson and Murdock to continue an actual investigation into Fisk’s past. = +15pts 
• Karen: “Swim in shit and hope you don’t get too much in your mouth.” What? No, ew, Karen! No! = -8pts 
• Stopping a child molester is a pretty good justification to begin using your super powers. = +23pts 
• Fisk, silver-tongued host: “I THANK you and PLEASE ENJOY your EVENING.” Vanessa: “That was beautiful.” = +5pts 
• Poisoning Vanessa. = +10pts (Nothing good can come of this.)

Total Score = +144pts
Season Score = +571pts

These episodes are where the Daredevil series slows down, padding out the action with backstory and self-analysis, which is probably ok if you’re familiar with the characters and are interested in a new interpretation of them. For a casual fan, though, the slow build of Matt becoming Daredevil can get a little tedious, and it’d be nice to see him start using his wits, as opposed to his usual pattern of punch, interrogate, get beaten, then punch again. We’re not too worried though, because if there’s any point in a series where it can afford to take its time, it’s the third quarter. We’re betting the final three episodes will action-packed, and if nothing else, reveal the classic red suit.

The PCS Daredevil Summer Reading List:

amazon.com

I’m new to Daredevil and the Marvel universe. There were probably tons of references in these episodes that I didn’t get – I hope I brought a fresh perspective without bending any hardcore fans out of shape. I’m playing catch-up, however, and I started last week with what turned out to be a great choice: the Waid/Rivera/Martin Daredevil Vol. 1.

I like that Waid’s focus is more on dare and less on the devil. In an interview at the end of the volume, the term "swashbuckling" is used, and that’s my favorite approach to superhero stories. I have a low threshold of patience for angsty characters – I’d rather have their emotional pain color the action of the plot instead of overwhelm it, which is what Waid accomplishes here. The past is hinted at, but it’s used as a tease to keep you engaged, not as an indulgence.

Issue one starts straight off with Daredevil using his superhuman abilities to outwit a superhuman villain. This is a nice contrast to the show, which is focused on naturalizing the process of Matt figuring out how to use his abilities to fight a more realistic type of criminal. In the comic, I love the imaginative way Rivera and Waid reintroduce you to Daredevil’s abilities, first through combat, but then also through his everyday interactions. One nice example is the full-page spread showing Matt walking down the street, as he picks out and interprets information from the sensory overload of New York. His later encounter with the sonic henchmen of Klaw is also a fantastically creative instance of the type of phantasmic fuckery I’d like to see more of in the show.

It’s been a fun experience, immersing myself in Daredevil’s territory. My main thought so far is that I’ll be spending a lot of time on the couch this summer, watching less TV, and reading more comics.

Iron Man 3

Score Technician: Nick Enquist

The Marvel Cinematic Universe is currently the most successful film universe ever created, and with good reason. Almost every film Marvel has put out has been a fun, energetic blockbuster that breaks the bank. And with Avengers: Age of Ultron making lots of money, it’s time to continue our look at some of the films that got us here. Today we’re looking at the first post-Avengers film, Iron Man 3 directed by Shane Black. Is it a timeless classic that rivals the original Iron Man and the Avengers? Or should you get your repulsor beams out to blast it away? The nanobots are here to find out.

• Starting off the movie with “I’m Blue” by European 90s pop sensation Eiffel 65 is probably not the best way to open a superhero movie. = -6pts (Nostalgia isn’t always a good thing.)
• Opening the film with Tony Stark in 1999 Bern, Switzerland on New Year’s Eve. A wondrous time when Y2K was still scaring people, fashion was just as dead as grunge music, and European pop sensation Eiffel 65 was relevant… No, we’re not going to get over the fact that the movie started with that song. = -15pts
• Hey! Yensen’s back! Do you remember him? He was in the first movie. He was the one in the cave who saved Tony Stark’s life in the cave. And helped him become Iron Man! Wow it’s great to see him again. He must have a big part in the movie then. = +3pts.
• His scene is twenty seconds long. And it's just so he can introduce another character that we’re never going to see again… Well that was pointless. = -10pts.
• Meeting Aldrich Killian, played by Guy Pierce as a geeky dweeb with glasses, and a hard-on for Tony Stark, who blows him off by telling him that he’ll meet him on the roof to talk business. You're a man of your word, Tony! = +2pts.
• Putting the moves on a lady scientist who’s developing some genetic ability to hack into the human genome, but it causes massive explosions. If the science babble isn’t to your liking, just simply make up your own! = -10pts
• Spending your days developing a new system that allows you to put your Iron Man suit on faster. Oh and since this is a Shane Black film, did we mention it has to take place during Christmas? = +2pts.
• Taking a simple dressing scene and turning it into a bad slapstick routine. Damn it Downey! You played Chaplin once you can’t do it again! = -3pts
• New terrorist named The Mandarin, played by Ben Kingsley, makes a hell of an intimidating entrance. = +6pts
• Your best bud hunting down the Mandarin as the "Iron Patriot." = (+20pts For his cool suit of armor. -40pts For changing his name from War Machine to the lame Iron Patriot.) -20pts overall
• Holes in space giving you PTSD, as opposed to the terrorists who kidnapped you for four months. = +2pts
• Your PTSD being so bad that even the words “New York” give you an anxiety attack. This is new. Let’s see what they do with it. = +10pts
• Pepper Potts meets up with a newer, sexier Aldrich Killian who puts his best Guy Pearce moves on her. Panties drop in 3… 2… = +2pts
• Transforming from a dweeby nerd to a sexy symbol of technological advancement. Killian is like Steve Jobs on crack. = +4pts (For using the sexy crack and no the regular crack.)
• You know what everybody loves about the Iron Man movies? The bickering. Yeah, that’s why we kept coming back. = -5pts.
• Giving a tough and convincing confession about your PTSD to your best lady. = +3pts (For actually being touching.)
• Your best lady leaving you alone when you really needs her. True love everybody! = -2pts
• Your former bodyguard getting injured in an attack caused by The Mandarin, and your big plan is to give him your address? And the award for dumbest plan ever goes to… IRON MAN! = -12pts
• The woman you were macking on in the beginning of the movie comes back to tell you  something, but is drowned out by your constant bickering. = -3pts
• Surprise! Your house gets attacked. It’s almost like threatening a terrorist was a bad idea. = -5pts.
• Pepper Potts as Iron Man Woman saving the day! = +3pts
• You fancy suit gets damaged and it takes you to Tennessee? What did you upgrade the operating system to, Windows 8? = +6pts
• Being beaten, groggy, and probably hung over in Tennessee. We’ve all been there. = +3pts
• Meeting the most annoying little kid ever put on film. And yes we are including Haley Joel Osmont. = -10pts
• Calling an eight-year-old kid a pussy may not be progressive, but it’s funny as all hell. = +30pts
• Pepper and the mystery science lady… Wait she has a name? Maya? Huh. Well that changes things. Anyway. They discover that Aldrich Killian could be working for the Mandarin! = -10pts (Because, no shit Sherlock.)
• When your only job in this movie is to be an annoying, and you decide to up your game by purposefully putting an Avenger into an uncomfortable state by reminding him of "New York." = -20pts (Why don’t you just bring up his dead dad while you’re at it.)
• Being attacked by a crazed woman in Tennessee who also demonstrates the many side effects of Extremis. Some of which include homicidal tendencies, super strength, and turning your body into a walking nuke. = +10pts
• Wait, is S.H.I.E.L.D. AWOL? No really. Dozens of ticking time bomb soldiers are blowing up parts of our country, and one of our biggest national security agencies isn’t there to try to stop it? What are they doing? Are they at the company luau? We think this takes precedence over Black Widow’s fire dance, and Hawkeye’s famous spam and eggs. = -30pts
• Second worst idea Tony Stark's ever had? Leaving a ten billion dollar armored suit of death and destruction in the hands of an eight year old. = -8pts
•  “So, you’re going to leave me? Just like my dad.” Kid, you’ve known him for two hours. = -2pts.
• The Mandarin returns with the plot and decides to kill a man. But, hey at least it gets things started up again. = +20pts
• Bringing back the The Iron Patriot. Let’s see Don Cheadle kick some ass. = +30pts
• Stopping the plot again so that Tony can interact with the frat guy from The Mindy Project. At least Tony finds out where the Mandarin is. = +3pts.
• Maya betrays Pepper to Aldrich Killian! = +4pts
• Rhodey gets captured, and the nanobots would like to remind you all that Iron Man 2 did have a great scene where Iron Man and War Machine fought a bunch of robots. As of now however, Rhodey has done nothing great. = -5pts
• Having another panic attack on your way to confront the Mandarin in Miami, thus proving that nothing good has ever come out of Florida= +14pts
• “Why don’t you just build something?” Great advice, "kid." All one needs to do to combat PTSD is just build something. That’s it? Just build things? If only soldiers or abuse victims followed that advice! All they need to do is build something! (Que: forehead slap!) They’ll be right as rain in no time! You know what? We’re glad your dad left you. Why don't you just go build a mom who really loves you. = -100pts.
• Of course this would turn Tony into Iron MacGuiver. = -10pts
• Breaking into the Mandarin’s headquarters, in a very entertaining way. = +15pts
• Side bar: It’s a little hypocritical for everybody getting huffy about Superman killing Zod in Man of Steel, and then nobody getting mad when Tony Stark kills half a dozen people with stuff from Home Depot. That’s some straight up serial killer shit right there. = -25pts
• The Mandarin turns out to be…a lame actor doing a bad Ringo Star impression. = (+7pts for the people who actually thought this was funny. -40 pts for the people who hated this twist.) -33pts
• Just saying "no" after getting captured by your ex one-night-stand, who is trying to get you to help her formula that is contributing to a campaign of mass terror. = +12pts
• Killian forgets the most important lesson from The Incredibles, and goes on a very long monologue explaining his convoluted plan involving more of that Extremis stuff, and a rebuilding of society, or some bullshit, honestly the nanobots don’t care anymore and neither should you. = -10pts.
• Killian ups the ante and injects Iron Man's girlfriend with the Extremis stuff. = +4pts
• Maya is killed by Killian (hey a pun!). = +3pts
• Rhodey getting his ass kicked by a fire breathing Guy Pearce. = +7pts
• Iron Man suiting back up and wreaking havoc, while Rhodey busts out too. Super bros unite! = +33pts
• Apparently this conspiracy is so big even the Vice President/asshole from Robocop is involved. = +20pts
• Expecting an amazing battle in New York that rivals The Avengers ending fight scene. = +25pts
• Taking over the The Iron Patriot so you can kidnap the president. = +20pts
• Air Force One is down! The crew is free falling with out parachutes! Only Iron Man can save them now! = +40pts
• Saving everybody, but losing your suit in the act. Guess it’s time for every different Iron Man suits ever. Awesome. = +35pts
• All right! Here we are! The final confrontation! And it’s at some non descript shipping yard that nobody knows where…GOD DAMN IT MOVIE!!! After all that talk about New York, you have the gall to not have the final confrontation to be in NYC? What a rip! Chekov is rolling in his grave! With his gun! = -99pts
• Though to be fair, it's a CGI extravaganza full of fun and excitement. = +48pts
• Gwenyth Paltrow rocking the sports bra.That's so, Goop! = +7pts
• Your girlfriend falling to her death and leaving you alone to brawl with Super Powered lava man! = +35pts
• Trapping you rival in your latest suit and blowing him up. = +16pts
• Scientific experiment #1: Not laughing when Guy Pearce belts out, “I AM THE MANDARIN!” = +3pts
• Your girlfriend coming back from the dead with super powers and kicking your rival’s ass to dust. = +5pts
• Destroying all of your suits, getting all the shrapnel out of your chest and taking out your arc rector, because you're done being Iron Man. At least until Avengers 2 rolls around and you wants to buy that ninth beach home. = -30pts
• Everything turns out okay. Happy wakes up from his coma. The little bastard gets rewarded for his obnoxiousness. And Tony throws his arc reactor into the sea, because his life is the Titanic. = -10pts
• “One thing you can’t take away. I am Iron Man.” Wait, not anymore you’re not. = -7pts
• Thank God for Mark Ruffalo. = +50pts

Total score: +28pts

Of all the Iron Man movies, this is the weakest. It does nothing for the growth of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which is disappointing, because Avengers had just come out a year before and fans were craving expansion with new characters and story lines. There’s a lot of build up and tension with no actual pay off. An annoying little kid that brings the movie to a screeching halt. A Tony Stark that seems to be more akin to Harry Lockhart from Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang than Iron Man. And while there’s a bit of humor, and some fun action scenes it doesn’t make up for the fact that Guy Pearce’s character is blander than the color of your living room (but way more gorgeous), Don Cheadle is barely in it, Gwenyth Paltrow has no real development or growth as a character, and Tony Stark sucks at being Iron Man. Don’t worry about the continuity for the next Marvel movies and skip this Iron Turd.

Daredevil Season 1, Episodes 5 - 7

Score Technician: Joe Hemmerling

In case you missed our coverage of the first four episodes of Netflix's Daredevil, allow me to summarize: Daredevil is fucking awesome, and if you're not watching it, then you are throwing your life away. Blind, super-powered lawyer Matt Murdock has finally acquired his target: Wilson Fisk, a mysterious millionaire with a love for art (and art gallery curators) and a violent temper. After close-call involving one of Matt's allies, Claire, Matt is angling at getting to Fisk through the Russian mob. The first four episode have painted a pretty clear picture of Hell's Kitchen and the masked vigilante who protects it, and in doing so, they have met and exceeded our wildest expectations for what this show could be. But good first impressions are easy. Can Daredevil sustain that level of intensity through the middle of its run?

Episode 5

• Matt keeps Claire at his place until it's safe for her to go back to her life. A shocking twist occurs to us: What if Daredevil is actually the story of a controlling, super-powered boyfriend holding a kind-hearted nurse hostage? = -8pts
• Acting all surprised when the guy whose head your boss lubricated his car door with shows up decapitated in his brother's office. = +6pts
• Hosing head-cheese off the running board of your SUV. = +3pts
• Madame Gao's delight at watching you hose head-cheese off the running board of your SUV. = +9pts
• Here's hoping that "those the Japanese guy speaks for" are The Hand. = +12pts
• That awesome 360 degree camera rotation from inside the cab. = +22pts
• Stunning a goon with the clip from a pistol... = +4pts
• ...and then beaning another one with the pistol itself. = +7pts
• Mrs. Cardenas arrives at Nelson & Murdoch with a complaint against her landlord for trying to force her out of her rent controlled apartment, reminding you that, yes, the main character is actually supposed to earn his living as a lawyer. = +2pts
• Two detectives murder an unarmed white suspect in custody. The Marvel universe truly is a utopian land of equal opportunity. = +13pts
• Foggy Nelson lawyers it up at Landman and Zack. = +4pts
• Matt Murdoch giving compound fractures to dirty cops. = +5pts
• Part 2 of Kingpin in Love. = +10pts
• Turk interrupts Vladimir's inefficient efforts to sponge clean his brother's body with a single blood-soaked rag to tell him that Fisk and the masked vigilante are working together. = +3pts
• Our sudden realization that Matt can't read a cellphone screen. = +1pts
• "I need to be the man this city needs." Okay, Harvey Dent. = -10pts
• Wilson Fisk making fun of a guy in a white suit and ascot. = +2pts
• "Wesley is more than an assistant..." How much time do you think it took for Kingpin/Wesley slash to show up online? = +7pts
• For a guy who doesn't go in for grand gestures, Fisk made sure Vanessa had a great view of Vladimir's strongholds as he demolished them. = +9pts

Episode 6

• Watching Matt beat up a bunch of cops. = +25pts
• Fisk's obvious remorse over how disappointed Madame Gao is going to be that Matt got away with Vladimir before his cops could finish him off. = +4pts
• Vladimir's counter-proposal. =+9pts

• Claire informs Matt that stabilizing someone with a gunshot wound isn't as easy as it seems in the movies; Matt's response: "I don't really go to the movies." = +2pts
• Cauterizing a bullet wound with a road flare. = +3pts
• Matt manages to run into the one honest cop in all Hell's Kitchen. = +6pts
• The Daredevil show runners cop from Frank Miller's other most famous work. = +14pts (If you're gonna steal, steal from the best.)
• Despite his super-powered lie-detector/early warning sense, Matt falls for the obvious "pretend-to-be-passing-out-then-hit-him-with-a-2x4" bit. = -7pts
• ...Then pile-drives Vladimir through two floors. = +6pts
• Matt re-enacts our favorite scene from TheAbyss with Vladimir. = +4pts
• The conversation between Matt and Fisk. = +20pts
• Ben Urich saving a douche-bag cop's life. = +3pts
• Vladimir probably ripping open everything inside himself helping Matt lift that drain cover. = +5pts
• Vladimir's suicide by cop. = +6pts

Episode 7

• Matt getting tazed by a 60-something-year-old-man. = +6pts
• If the old accountant dude had just decided to back his car over Matt while he was laying on the pavement convulsing, that probably would have been the end of the show. = -9pts
• Scott Glenn as Stick. = + 15pts
• Hey, Stick, Mike Ehrmantraut has a speech on half-measures that you might find useful in this situation. = +2pts
• Foggy rescues Karen from a pair of Kingpin's thugs... = +5pts
• ...because he was stalking her. = -5pts (A wash.)
• The first MacGuffin of the series is a kid with undefined abilities. =+7pts
• Things get too serious for Flashback Stick. = -11pts
• Final scene between Stick and Stone hints toward possible Defenders storyline. = Score pending till we see whether this screws up the good thing we got going here.

Episodes Score = +211pts

Season Score = +427pts

This show, you guys. Daredevil maintains its relentless pacing for episodes 5 and 6, only pausing to take a stroll down memory lane and open up some new avenues in the seventh installment. We're not totally sure what Stick's involvement, or his war with The Hand will ultimately amount to, but it's safe to say that it will probably have broader implications for the universe Netflix is trying to build.

The PCS Daredevil Summer Reading List

Full disclosure: This technician has not ventured very far outside Frank Miller's character-defining work with ol' hornhead. Even so, between his initial run on the series, Born Again, and Man Without Fear, there's an embarrassment of riches there. If I had to pick a favorite, it'd be Daredevil 181.

The issue is most famous for being the one where Bullseye kills Elektra, a shocking moment in its own right, but frankly, the whole issue is a sterling example of what super hero comics could and should be. The story begins with Bullseye staging a daring breakout from Rykers and follows  him as he kills Elektra to reclaim his role as Kingpin's chief assassin, deduces Daredevil's secret identity, and engages in an epic confrontation with his nemesis. The afore-mentioned Elektra death sequence is everything it's been cracked up to be, emotionally resonant and a visual tour de force. Miller's fight scenes are a rare and wonderful thing: kinetic, brutal, and high-stakes, but most of all, very clear in their sequencing and easy to follow. The first-person narration by Bullseye provides a chilling window into the master-assassin's psyche. Plus, there's so many wonderful little moments, like the meeting between Bullseye and Punisher in the prison yard, or the splash page where Bullseye has his first inkling of Matt Murdoch's double life.

Publishers spent so much effort over the last four decades trying to reproduce the "grim and gritty" tone of Miller's work, but one wishes they would have paid closer attention to his remarkable page layouts, his sense of pacing, and his judicious use of character.