Every so often we like to take the nanobots out among everyday people, so they can calibrate their media-evaluation sensors against input from the normal world.
At other times, we take them to horror-movie fan conventions.
On July 5-7, we walked among the unliving—and occasionally the unshowered—at Days of the Dead in Indianapolis, IN. Here are our findings.
- Spending a rainy 4-day holiday weekend at a horror convention. = +20pts
- Having a conversation with Don Coscarelli about filming movies in Palmdale, CA. = +7pts
- Discovering that Don Coscarelli has an unusual fascination with Palmdale, CA. = +5pts (if you used to live in Palmdale)
- Escaping Don Coscarelli without having our car turned into a mammoth fireball. = +15pts
- Angus Scrimm having to cancel his appearance due to health reasons. = -89pts
- Angus Scrimm still having health reasons. = +50pts
- Angus Scrimm totally not phoning it in while phoning it in at the Phantasm panel discussion/Q & A. = +75pts
- Thingfest! An appearance by six actors from John Carpenter’s The Thing. This is the largest reunion that has ever been put together for the public. = +36pts (Minus Kurt Russell)
- Fuck Kurt Russell. = -6pts
- Learning that “The Thing” in German is “Das Ding.” = +9pts
- Meeting the lovely Rochelle Davis, who played Sarah in The Crow. = +10pts
- Finding Tony Todd to be very gracious and approachable when not covered in bees. +15pts
- Discovering that a guy named Dick Starr does not produce, direct, or appear in any variety of pornography. (no points-- just a nice surprise)
- …but instead creates really cool—and very twisted—art (Don’t take our word for it: www.dickstarr.net). = +17pts
- Note to troglodytes in line behind us to get Linda Blair’s autograph: I guarantee you that Linda Blair gives fewer than 0.004 nanoshits about your opinions on her appearance, her outfit, or her sexuality. Linda Blair wouldn’t fuck you with somebody else’s crucifix. Get bent. = -4pts
- Danny Trejo! = +13pts
- Machete don’t text. He also don’t take a picture with you unless you give him $10. = -4pts
- Holliston blooper reel! = +7pts
- Having a twentysomething tell your girlfriend that she’s very beautiful. = +25pts
- …for her age. = -20pts (Dude. Seriously.)
- Taking a picture of Lita Ford wearing jewelry your girlfriend made. = +30pts
- Not being the person touching Lita Ford in that picture. = -5pts
Total Score = +206pts
We came, we saw, we bought black shit with skulls on it. Thanks to all the stars and staff who made Days of the Dead possible—it was a great weekend for all of us horror fans, and we truly appreciate it.
Score Technicians: John Ormond and Stacey Hanlon
[Editor's Note: to view more of Stacey Hanlon's jewelry, check out her Etsy page: www.etsy.com/shop/