Thursday, February 27, 2014

The Walking Dead Season 4, Episode 10 &11

If you want to get caught up, you’ve got to run. So let’s go!

Episode 10

  • “Are you there, God? It’s me, Beth. WHY DID YOU RUIN EVERYTHING?!?! WHY?!?! xoxoxo” = -3pts
  • Daryl upgrades from creepy mommy issues (Carol), to inappropriate daddy ones (Beth). = -2pts
  • Every time a zombie does something clever, Daryl’s leather jacket gets a new wing. = +2pts (One point for each wing.)
  • Leave it to a zombie apocalypse to finally bring about a post-racial America. = +5pts
  • Proof we’re what’s wrong with society: We’d give Tyrese $20 to ditch those kids. = +20pts (Anything that would have resulted in Tyrese being unnecessarily murdered by the police pre-zombies gets him a pass. We’re pretty sure wandering around the woods with three blonde white kids would have been at the top of the list.)
  • Fast-tracking romantic subplot by having D’Angelo Barksdale talk to newly brotherless Sasha…with his shirt off. = +3pts
  • Zombie dating game. = +4pts (“What’s behind door number, holyshitthatsabunchofzombies!!)
  • Closing the door behind you for no reason. = -1pt
  • Taking pictures of living women in repose. = -3pts (Did we learn nothing from this.)

Total points = +21pts

Episode 11

  • Zombies love balloons! = +5pts 
  • We appreciate fidelity to the comic as much as anyone, but if they were going to insist on Abraham being a ginger, couldn’t they have found a hair color dialed one or two shades back from “Kool-Aid Vomit?” = -6pts 
  • Also while we’re on it, Rosita is dressed like a booth girl at a gun show. = -8pts 
  • Michonne shows off her stylish new ensemble while Rick stumbles around in a shirt that is literally disintegrating from his body. = -2pts 
  • Michonne wastes her best material on little Sheriff Grumpy-Pants. = +3pts (Don’t feel too bad, M. Rick’s Batman impression couldn’t get his attention either.) 
  • The sudden intrusion of another party into the house where the group is squatting causes Rick to re-enact his favorite scene from Taken… but not the Liam Neeson part. = +9pts 
  • Michonne: Mary Poppins with a sword. = +4pts 
  • Walking Dead as a bawdy, Farley brothers-esque comedy: Instead of beating the shit out of each other over ownership of the bed under which Rick is hiding, the two men make violent, passionate love atop of it. 
  • Eugene’s total lack of remorse over shooting up Abraham’s truck. = +6pts 
  • “Son of a dick?” = -7pts 
  • As cool as it was watching Rick strangle a guy to death with a gun strap in the bathroom, imagine how much cooler it could have been if the guy’s pants were around his ankles while it was happening. = +5pts 

Total Score = +9pts
Season Score = +220pts

Not a super eventful episode, but Rick having to Die Hard his way out the house his group was holed up in made for a pretty gripping subplot. The Nanobots are very interested to see what’s waiting for everyone at the end of that rail line, too.

Feel that burn? It's called work, son.

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