Thursday, August 6, 2015

True Detective Season 2, Episode 7
Score Technician: Joe Hemmerling

Things have kicked into high gear now that the season is racing towards its conclusion. The penultimate episode has to deal with the fallout of Officer Buzzkill's drug-fueled orgy of stabbings. Let's take a look at where we're going from here.
  • "Hey, sorry I killed a couple of really bad, important people while under your assumed identity. Just put your job, relationship, and plans for college on hold and leave the state for an indefinite amount of time." -Officer Buzzkill, gunning for the sister of the year award. = -4pts 
  • Detective Velcro's reaction to finding his CO dead in the seat next to him. = +3pts 
  • Forcing your fiance to share a motel room with your molesty mother for a weekend. = +6pts (Hey, at least they'll have something in common to talk about.) 
  • Vince Vaughn finally putting the hurt on that smug little shit he made his number two. = +9pts 
  • Will the home video boxed set of this season come with an hour-long featurette that explains exactly what the fuck this case is all about? Because even after a five minute scene of all the main characters explaining it to each other, we cannot make heads or tails of it. = -10pts 
  • In viewing the conversation between Vince Vaughn and the Russian gangster, we're reminded of a certain parable from Things Fall Apart. = +11pts 
  • "Hey, just calling to tell you I'm walking head-first into a trap. Here's no useful information whatsoever. Okay, gotta go. Bye." = -2pts
  • Colin Farrell and Rachel McAdams acting the hell out of the vaguest dialogue ever written. = -8pts 
  • Taylor Kitsch finally finds himself relevant to the plot! = +23pts 
  • So, of course that means he's got to die. = -6pts 
Episode Score = +22pts
Season Score = +137pts

Ah, Taylor Kitsch, late have we loved thee. You were an unbearably dour burden for almost the entire series, but whenever the plot called for you to kill people with a gun, you performed spectacularly. With our other two detectives framed for murder (although, maybe "framed" isn't the right word in Officer Buzzkill's case) and Vince Vaughn left clubless and in the wind things are looking pretty grim for our heroes. But, hey, we're pretty sure "grim" is every one of these dudes' middle names.

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