Score Technician: Joe Hemmerling
Aside from a few bright spots, this new season of True Detective has been a bit of a slog. We are now fully at the halfway point and in desperate need of something to give this series a shot in the arm (and not just a fakeout shot to the gut).
- "Well, they finally did it. They killed my fucking car." = +3pts
- Despite the rousing pep talk he received from Detective Velcro, it STILL feels like Taylor Kitsch is in a completely different TV show from the rest of the cast. = -16pts
- A brisk walk down Officer Buzzkill's sexual history and the legal complications therein. = +2pts
- Pro-tip for the ladies: Do not accept the proposal of a man who tells you he only discovered that he loved you the moment you told him you were pregnant. = -9pts
- For all you Office fans wondering what Roy has been doing since he and Pam broke up, now you know: Entertaining audiences with Vince Vaughn in the hopes of banging his wife. = +5pts.
- Nice call-back to the water-stain/empty eye-socket transition in episode 2. = +6pts
- The look of befuddled indifference on Velcro Jr.'s face upon receiving the beloved family heirloom his grandfather tried to throw away last episode. = +3pts
- A police raid aimed at apprehending a suspect in the Caspere case ends in a body count that rivals a Chicago summer. = +30pts (To quote Maria Bamford, "That must be funny, because no one is taking it that seriously.")
Season Score = +88pts
The unbridled carnage of the closing set piece was exactly what we needed at this point in the series. It was tense, brutal, and unrelenting, and it finally gave us some relief from the pitched brood-off that has soaked up so much of the series up to now. Here's hoping the remainder of the series gives us more of that and less of our four main characters looking constipated.